The Problem with Ross Geller

Friends was, and still is, considered to be one of the beloved and greatest TV shows created. The show is about the lives of six adults in their mid 20's who are all friends living in New York City and the struggles of being a 20-something-year-old. The friends are Monica Geller, her brother Ross, Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Joey Tribbiani, and Chandler Bing. A major place that the six usually can be found is Central Perk, a coffeehouse where Rachel and Joey work at one time. If they're not at Central Perk, the six are usually found in two apartments across from each other where all of them live at one point. The show was created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman and ran for 10 seasons and a total of 236 episodes, which all can be found here. Friends started to air in 1994 and ended in 2004.

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Although Friends is widely beloved, there a quite a few moments where it can be scene how outdated the show really is, despite it only ending 11 years ago. There are instances of homophobia and transphobia, but the most common problem with Friends is the amount of misogyny and sexism. There many times where the men from the show say or something offensive. Some of these things have mirrored and even effected what today's society is like. The specific examples I will be focusing on will all be from or involving Ross Geller,considered the most problematic of all the men on Friends, which is proven by multiple surveys here.

In the episode "The One With the Male Nanny", Ross and Rachel are looking for a nanny to take care of their baby, Emma, while both are at work. The pair interview nannies to see which would be a good fit to take care of Emma. One nanny they interview is Sandy, a male nanny. In this clip, Ross' discomfort can be seen very clearly when he asks Sandy about his sexuality and seems to be confused as to why he's a nanny. From Ross' actions and responses to Sandy, it shows how traditional Ross is and how important traditional gender roles are to him. Ross believes that only women should be nannies and should be the ones taking care of children. When Sandy is out of sight, Ross says to Rachel, "That's like a woman being a..." and doesn't finish his sentence after the look Rachel gives him. This particular scene is talked about by Anna Neyman in her article here.

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Ross has another child, Ben, with his first wife, Carol, who is actually a lesbian. One day when Ben arrives to spend time with Ross, he arrives holding a doll. Ross is immediately concerned as to why his son is playing with a doll, something that is typically seen as a girl's toy. Ross' reaction can be seen in these clips. This shows Ross' traditional values once again. By saying that Ben shouldn't be allowed to play with Barbies, Ross is forcing Ben to take on gender roles that he has no knowledge of because he's only two years old. A study done by Maria Do Mar Pereira has been done that proves that forcing gender roles on kids is harmful to their health. Kids should be able to explore their interests and should not be restricted by gender roles.

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Ross is known as the "Nice Guy" because he believes that women don't date him because he's too nice and isn't considered a "bad boy," so he is just a friend. From what some call Nice Guy Syndrome comes the friend-zone. The friend-zone is actually a term that was created by the writers of Friends, and the term has actually made it's way into our society and is used quite a lot. The reason the "friend-zone" is bad is because it is used to shame women and make them feel bad for not dating these so-called "Nice Guys." This article by Alisse Desrosiers goes more in-depth to explain the negative effects of the friend-zone and why it is so bad. Shelby Rosten discusses how the friend-zone is used in Friends in her article and how Ross is the problem. The friend-zone has negatively been effecting women since the late 90's and it is because of Friends and Ross Geller.

In conclusion, Ross Geller is one of the main causes of the problematic comments and actions on Friends. These comments and actions are misogynistic and are harmful to both men and women. The way Ross treats women and his value of traditional gender roles is supposed to be seen in a comedic way because Friends is a sitcom, but his actions can be very harmful and effect our world, like with the creation of the friend-zone. With the way Ross treats women throughout the show, it is evident that he feels above them, and this is especially prevalent in his romantic relationships. Ross Geller is the perfect example of a misogynist.